


slow it down (‘cause i can’t breathe)

by fantastiken



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:33:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9117925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantastiken/pseuds/fantastiken
Summary: Hakyeon has never said it, but he buys his sweaters a little too big for himself because he knows Hongbin likes wearing them when he’s not around.





	

**Author's Note:**

> finally something that isn't unadulterated angst/horror, yay! happy new year~ ♡

Hongbin is wearing Hakyeon’s sweater. It’s a beige crew neck, too worn out to be used in public but still a magnificent companion at home. Hakyeon has never said it, but he buys his sweaters a little too big for himself because he knows Hongbin likes wearing them when he’s not around— and the width of Hongbin’s shoulders is no joke. 

He’s sitting on the couch, legs bent and forehead resting on his knees. He doesn’t remember how long it’s been since he sat down, probably hours, but it doesn’t really matter. His heart beats erratically and he’s feeling dizzy, and the sound of the wind wheezing in violent gusts outside is not helping him feel any better. If anything, it only makes his thoughts more unstable, hard to grasp and put in order. 

The sweater smells like Hakyeon, feels a little like Hakyeon is embracing him and that grounds Hongbin slightly, but he can’t help but shake when the reason why he hasn’t slept at night punches him in the gut once he exhales. He feels so insecure, so damn vulnerable, and he hates it. He’s a grown man, he thinks, he’s an adult that should know better than to fall in a pit of anguish and self-doubt every two seconds, but he can’t help it. It’s been like this forever, really, and he’s gotten better but his over-worrying, over-analyzing self still beats his better judgement sometimes. 

Hongbin is... strong, and determined, and kind and several brands of passionate. However, he is also small at times, skin paper-thin and ready to crumble under the weight of his self-imposed imperfections. 

And it’s hours later when Hakyeon gets home but he still finds Hongbin in the same position, curled over himself on the couch. His hands are clutching the sleeves of the sweater so hard that they’re shaking a little. 

“Hey.” Hakyeon’s voice is soft, barely audible over the wind. 

Hongbin doesn’t answer. He pretends he hasn’t heard Hakyeon, pretends he’s not there, pretends he hasn’t had a breakdown. Maybe Hakyeon will leave him alone if he pretends, pretends, pretends— even though Hakyeon leaving is, deep down, the last thing he wants. 

It does not work. Hakyeon doesn’t leave and instead sits down on the edge of their coffee table. “You don’t have to talk,” he says slowly, like he doesn’t want to disturb Hongbin. “But remember you’re not alone now.” 

That makes Hongbin shiver. The words are simple, but they wash over him like the sun covers everything with a blanket of warmth every morning. Hongbin sighs and, against the impulse that tells him to hide even further into himself, lifts his head and looks at Hakyeon. His head is a bird’s nest and his cheeks are red while the rest of his face is a little pale; there’s an irregular mark on his forehead, where the fabric of his jeans has left soft indents on the skin after resting on it for so long. 

“I’m here already.” 

Hongbin’s eyes water in a matter of seconds, although before his tears spill, Hakyeon opens his arms and embraces him softly. 

“If you need a hug you just have to ask for it,” he mutters against Hongbin’s hair, and Hongbin just holds onto him like Hakyeon is the only thing that could keep him from shattering into a million pieces. 

“I needed it so bad,” Hongbin answers honestly. It’s whispered but Hakyeon hearts it perfectly, feels Hongbin’s lips moving against his collarbones and caresses his back silently. 

And he’s only admitting it with a tiny voice— Hongbin has never been the best at expressing his true, rawest feelings and oftentimes he pretends Hakyeon bothers him— but welcomes with a relieved sigh the hug that Hakyeon has been willing to give him for ages, the reassurance that comes with it. Because Hongbin _is_ bad at putting his feelings into words yet Hakyeon reads him like an open book, and his gushing always makes up for Hongbin's insecurities one way or another, helps him patch up a little and build back up the wall of confidence he himself destroys inadvertently from time to time. 

Hakyeon never lets go first, not this time, not ever. Not even when Hongbin sniffles and asks with a croaky voice, “How did you know?” 

His laugh is a low rumble, like that knowing chuckle of someone who is so much wiser than they appear to be. “You’re wearing my sweater,” he answers in the end. 

That, fortunately, makes Hongbin giggle a little, too. His cheeks are definitely redder than before, and Hakyeon thinks he’s really cute, bird nest on top of his head and all. 

They don’t break apart for a long time. It may have been Hongbin who needed the hug the most, but Hakyeon also revels in it, in the softness of his sweater spread across Hongbin's back, his own scent mixed with Hongbin's, the warmth, the familiarity and relief of finally giving, giving, giving. Of being willing to give and knowing his feelings will be reciprocated, of knowing he will always be there for Hongbin and the sheer comfort that washes over him at the mere thought.


End file.
